- I’m pretty sure LA is there somewhere.
There is no love lost between the Suns and Lakers, but what about between the cities they call home? Let’s take a fun, light-hearted look at how Phoenix and Los Angeles match up for the Western Conference Finals.
Name
First off, let’s just examine the names. Los Angeles goes by many nicknames like “The City of Angels” (turns out this isn’t even remotely true!). The most popular way to refer to it is “LA” – not very exciting. What do you know what is “x”-citing – “Phoenix” – a symbol of rebirth, of victory coming from earlier defeat.
Not only that, but it also has the letter “X” in it which is one of the coolest letters in the alphabet. Go ahead think of some words with X in them… that’s right, they’re all awesome.
Advantage: Phoenix
Population
Since I just recently mailed in my 2010 Census form, we’ll have to rely on numbers from 2000. LA ranked 2nd in the nation back then with a population of 3.8 million people. Phoenix was 5th in the country with a population of 1.6 million.
Advantage: Phoenix, for two reasons…
1) The People
According to a study I just completely made up, the population of Los Angeles is comprised of 75% failed actors and actresses, 5% rich and famous people, and 20% costumed characters in Disneyland.
Meanwhile, Phoenix has a growing base of native Phoenicians while still importing honest, decent and awesome people from other states (like me!). You want to meet people from Kansas, Idaho, Texas, and Missouri all in one night? Visit a bar in Phoenix in a Friday night. If you only want to meet people from Kansas, go on a Monday morning.
2) The Traffic
The traffic in Los Angeles is infamous. You want to know the real reason for the week-long layoff between the second round and the conference finals? It’s because the Suns bus has been stuck on the highway on the way to their team hotel this whole time.
There are so many people in LA all trying to go where you’re going but get there faster. The last time I visited an LA beach I ended up parking in Chandler and walking. So California can keep its gridlock, I’ll be fine with my logically planned, grid-pattern city streets.
Mayors
 Not much is known about LA Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa – seen here hugging an evil robot from the future sent to destroy John Connor. |
 Phoenix mayor Phil Gordon certainly knows how to dress! |
Advantage: Phoenix
Exports
Phoenix is home to some big names including Wayne Newton and Alice Cooper. We’ve given the world cool bands such as Jimmy Eat World and the Gin Blossoms.
The chief export of Los Angeles? Annoying Laker fans.
Advantage: Phoenix
Friendliness
This is the face of our franchise |
This is the face of the Lakers |
Advantage: Phoenix, Enough said.
