<“I’m Adam Beechen’s mother, and I approved this message…because Adam promised me he’d come home for Passover if I did. Don’t forget the matzo, honey!”
Kevin Johnson could use the fact that he dunked on Hakeem Olajuwon as one of his campaign slogans. (NBAE Photos)
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As the Suns wind up their campaign toward the NBA playoffs, having finally seemed to jell around this new guy O’Neal (who really fills out a uniform), and this other new guy, Giricek, another former Sun is also knee-deep in a campaign of his own. That would be Ring of Honor member Kevin Johnson, who’s running for Mayor of Sacramento.
(First of all, how can KJ be old enough to run for anything? He still looks as fresh-faced as the day he arrived in the Valley. I find it very hard to believe he’s 42.)
Now, anyone who saw Kevin play basketball knows he doesn’t need any help running for any reason. But we’re Phoenix, we back our sons and our Suns, so here are a few campaign slogans for you, KJ, feel free to use them or not as you see fit:
“SOLID LEADERSHIP ON ANY KIND OF FLOOR – JOHNSON FOR MAYOR!”
“VOTE KJ – IMPROVE SACRAMENTO’S FREE-THROW PERCENTAGE BY SIXTY PERCENT!”
“FASTER THAN THE OTHER CANDIDATE – GUARANTEED!”
“I DUNKED ON OLAJUWON, GUARDED JORDAN IN THE FINALS AND HAD A LOCKER NEXT TO BARKLEY…YOU THINK I CAN’T HANDLE CITY COUNCIL?”
All of which got me thinking, just in case any of the current Suns wanted to take a run at any vacant political offices, I’ve got a few more slogans that might be of use:
“EXPERIENCE, DETERMINATION AND PROFESSIONALISM…VOTE GRANT HILL!”
“RAJA BELL, MINISTER OF DEFENSE – CHECK YOUR BALLOT BEFORE HE CHECKS YOU!”
“A MAN WHO TAKES CHARGE ON OUR COURT – NASH FOR ATTORNEY GENERAL!”
“SECRETARY OF THE INTERIOR…AND ANYWHERE ELSE HE WANTS TO BE – AMARE STOUDEMIRE!”
“VOTE BORIS DIAW FOR ANY POSITION YOU LIKE.”
“GORDAN GIRICEK FOR DIRECTOR OF INTERCONTINENTAL BALLISTIC MISSILES – THE GOOD KINDS, THE ONES WORTH THREE POINTS.”
“YOU MIGHT AS WELL VOTE FOR LEANDRO BARBOSA…YOU SURE CAN’T BEAT HIM.”
“MIKE D’ANTONI FOR PRESIDENT – HE CAN TAKE THE HEAT!”
“SHAQUILLE O’NEAL FOR MAYOR – YOU WANT TO TELL HIM NO?”
And Al McCoy will serve as Speaker of the House – a lifetime post.
In all seriousness, Kevin Johnson, as has been well-documented has done even more good work off the court than he did on the court which, frankly, is hard to believe, given how well he played for the purple and orange. Shooting, passing, defending, serving as a public face for a franchise in the years immediately following a terrible scandal, KJ did it all for the Suns. Now, his St. Hope Academy in Sacramento has helped countless kids, at-risk or not. KJ has dedicated his post-hoops life, as he did much of his life while he was playing, to making the world a better place to live in.
It’s a shame they don’t let Phoenicians vote in Sacramento elections. He’d be a shoo-in.