Cleaning Out My Locker

Gortat is the kind of center the Suns haven't had in a long time.

Well.

Having spent the last few weeks devoting every iota, every fiber of my being, to rooting against the Lakers, I finally have a little time on my hands. So I’m venturing into US Airways Center to at last clean out my locker from the 2010-2011 NBA season. Things tend to pile up during the course of six or seven months, and to be honest, I don’t do the best job of keeping my Superfan locker neat and orderly, so I have no idea what I’ll find…

Hey, here’s a Hedo Turkoglu Suns jersey, barely worn. And this looks like his playbook. I wonder why he wrote all this stuff in the margins… “Orlando roolz….I (heart) Orlando…Dwight, do you miss me?”

Speaking of playbooks, here’s Earl Clark’s. Wow, the spine really cracked when I opened it, like it had never been opened before.

Here’s Jason Richardson’s basketball card from 2006, when he was with Golden State. Twenty-three points per game. Say, that’s pretty good!

A whole folder of Josh Childress’ take-out menus from Italian restaurants. That are actually in Italy. Someone’s been remembering the good times, looks like.

A note from Gani Lawal’s agent outlining their strategy for convincing the Suns to keep him on for next season: “Emphasize league-leading shooting percentage.” It’s true, he didn’t miss a single shot all season. Then again, he didn’t take a shot, either.

Garret Siler’s food journal. Man, that’s a lot of soy!

What’s Frederic Weis doing in here? Boy, Vince Carter really does carry this guy with him everywhere he goes.

A letter from Yuta Tabuse to Zabian Dowdell…It’s written in Japanese, but I think I can translate it… “Hang in there…You never know.”

A half-full glass of Goran Dragic’s potential. I wonder why he didn’t use the whole thing while he was here? Oh well. I hope he took the rest to Houston with him.

I’m not sure if I’m reading these papers correctly…It looks like academic correspondence between Channing Frye and mathematicians at MIT discussing precise angles and trajectories for jump shots about twenty-three feet away from he basket. I guess that explains a lot about his last few seasons.

Jeez, this is heavy…a whole case of batteries for Jared Dudley’s iPhone. The man does love his Twitter.

This looks like a letter Marcin Gortat never got around to mailing home to Poland. “Dear Mom: Can you believe they’ve never had a center like me on this team before?”

Uh oh. Here’s Robin Lopez’s confidence. I thought I gave this to him at the start of the season. My bad, everybody. I’ll get it back to him before training camp, I promise.

The pawn shop receipt for Aaron Brooks’ “2009-2010 Most Improved Player” award. Boy, I sure hope he gets that back, and soon.

One lottery ticket, issued to Robert Sarver, Lon Babby, Lance Blanks and Alvin Gentry. And it’s in a little box with all these rabbits’ feet and four-leaf clovers…

A big, big box of thank you cards, messages of support, and letters of appreciation for Suns President Rick Welts. I don’t think he’s actually received these yet. But he will. Very soon. And he deserves them.

And finally…

Hey, what’s this buried way in the back here, covered by blankets? Looks like some kind of art or something. Lots of dust on them…Holy cow, I think these are portrait paintings of Steve Nash and Grant Hill! But the guys are painted to look like they’re 450 years old! I wonder if I should show these to them…Nah, I think I’ll just put them back where they were, keep them for next season, and forget I ever saw them.

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