With the Suns in Los Angeles last weekend for their first round playoff series against the Lakers, it seemed like the perfect time to convene my fellow Suns.com bloggers for our first annual summit.
The first annual Suns.com Blogger Summit was exhausting.
(Josh Greene/Suns Photos)
I submitted my request to my writer colleagues, but unfortunately, Steve Koek wrote back that he would be busy “washing his hair.” Tom Leander, James Jones and Aaron Nelson likewise replied that they would be doing the very same thing. So did Gary Bender, Brad Faye, Ann Meyers Drysdale, Joe Gilmartin, Marcus Banks, Jeramie McPeek, Jamie Morris, Adam Green, Erik Phillips, Eddie Johnson, Aaron Kimberlin, and the Suns Dancers.
Rather than be suspicious and insulted by this incredible coincidence, I decided to applaud them for their water-conservation efforts, as they are all, apparently, showering together.
Luckily, Suns center Sean Marks proved to be available for the landmark summit I had in mind. Not that I gave him much choice – I staked out his locker.
The following is the transcript of our historic conversation.�
ADAM BEECHEN: Sean, thanks for taking the time to speak with me.
SEAN MARKS: Sure. Excuse me, though, you’re in my chair.
AB: Oh, sorry. I’ll just sit over here.
SM: That’s Boris’ locker.
AB: Okay, I’ll hop up on this table…
STEVE NASH: (passing by, to Suns trainers) Hey, who’s this on the training table?
AB: Maybe I’ll stand. Okay, let’s get started. How did you enjoy your regular season?
SM: Well, it was tremendous. We played great, everyone gets along really well, and we feel like, with the playoffs here, the best is yet to come.
AB: No, I meant your BLOGGING season.
SM: My blogging season?
AB: Yeah. I mean, personally, I feel like I had a terrific rookie campaign. Sentence construction worthy of a veteran, very few spelling errors… Sure, there are still some things to work on, like making sure I always write in active voice and not passive, but man, I really feel good about it. How about you?
SM: Oh, um… Sure. I enjoy doing the blogs and I feel good about them.
AB: No, I meant how do you feel about MY blogs?
SM: Uh… Great. I think you did really good work.
AB: Thanks! Now, it’s a long season, we all know that. How do you keep from wearing out? How do you keep from hitting “the wall?”
SM: We’ve got the best training staff in the NBA, and they always make sure we’re at our physical peak. Life on the NBA’s courts is so rugged and physical, your body has to be prepared to deliver a 110% effort every night, and –
AB: Actually, I was more talking about “the wall” for blogging. You know, when you just can’t think of anything because you feel like you’ve written everything there is to write, and you stare at the ceiling for hours, and you cry a lot, and you eat four containers of ice cream in a single sitting because man, it just tastes so good, and nothing else will fill the dark, yawning pit of emptiness inside you, and –
SM: (nervous) I just write about whatever’s going on.
AB: Yeah, me too, pretty much. So, how about those blogging injuries?
SM: Excuse me?
AB: Like, back in February? I typed an entire blog with this really painful hangnail on my left ring finger. Hitting those “s,” “w,” and “a” keys was excruciating, but hey, the team needed me, so what was I gonna do, sit on the bench?
SM: You injured yourself BLOGGING?
AB: You’ve got to play through the pain, am I right?
SM: Yeah, that was really… courageous of you.
AB: Thanks! Okay, let’s talk about the playoffs.
SM: Thank goodness.
AB: You’ve been around the league some… What can you tell us about the Suns’ opponents and who we might face down the road?
SM: Well, with the Lakers, first and foremost, you’re talking about Kobe Bryant, who’s such a complete player and can hurt you in so many ways… San Antonio has Tim Duncan, and he’s fundamentally brilliant and so hard to stop. Dirk Nowitzki’s in Dallas, and talk about hard to stop… When he gets rolling, you have to throw everything at him but the kitchen sink!
AB: Kobe Bryant, Tim Duncan and Dirk Nowitzki all do blogs?
SM: I have no idea.
AB: I’m talking about other teams’ bloggers, not players. Are they fluid typers? Can they tap with their left hands? Can they pull up and hit the space bar?
SM: I don’t read other teams’ blogs that often…
AB: Yeah! That’s the spirit! To heck with those other teams! Sure, your quote might make their locker room blackboards, but who cares?
SM: I seriously doubt other teams will care.
AB: Lastly, who do you think wins the MVP this year?
SM: (long, long pause) …You?
AB: (laughing) Dude, obviously I don’t play in the NBA! Come on!
SM: In that case, of course we’re all rooting for Steve Nash to make history and win the award for a third straight year.
AB: Wait, he’s already won it TWICE?!
AMARE STOUDEMIRE: (approaching, to security) Hey, who’s this leaning against my locker?!
AB: Well, Sean, looks like we’re about out of time. Thanks for participating in the first annual Suns.com Blogger Summit!
SM: It’s been a pleasure, I guess.
AB: (being dragged away by security) We’ll do it again next year!
AS: Who was that, Sean?
SM: No idea.