Forget “Tebow Time” and “Linsanity,” Peyton Manning is dominating the discussion across the sports landscape lately. From social media to SportsCenter, and everywhere in between, the former No. 1 pick is all anyone can seem to talk about these days.
Not since Brad Pitt dumped Jennifer Aniston has a free-agent hitting the market made this much noise. The question remains though, who will be Angelina Jolie to Manning’s Pitt?
We at Suns.com wonder, why can’t it be a team that calls Arizona home? No, not that one in Glendale. More specifically the one that calls US Airways Center home. Sure, Manning is an all-pro football player, but he wouldn’t be the first person in their late thirties to make a drastic career change. Heck, it’s becoming the norm in this economy. Just ask Paula Abdul. She seems to change jobs every few months.
We’ve even come up with a few reasons – 18, actually — to entice Manning to make the Valley of the Suns his new residence.
1) With the Suns, age is only a number and the word “health” is only followed by the letter Y, not questions marks.
2) We already know you look good in orange and white.
3) You stated publicly you probably didn’t want to play in the NFC. Well guess what, we aren’t in the NFC, we’re in the Pacific Division.
4) We’ve already taken care of one former number one pick named Manning who had dealt with injuries (See: Manning, Danny).
5) You can connect with Larry Fitzgerald on a regular basis and even throw him some passes. He is often spotted sitting courtside at USAC.
6) There’s no need to worry about the quality of an offensive line because you don’t get hit here. That is unless we’re playing San Antonio (just kidding… well, sort of).
7) At 35, you won’t be the elder statesman in the locker room.
8 ) If you thought Reggie Wayne had athletic hands, wait until you meet Jared Dudley.
9) The pick and roll is basically like a screen pass.
10) Eli has never won a ring in the NBA.
11) An NBA court is only 31.3 yards long. Or, for you, an average pass.
12) Have you seen what Aaron Nelson and the Suns’ training staff has done for Steve Nash and Grant Hill? Don’t tell anyone, but we think they discovered the fountain of youth flowing somewhere in the basement of US Airways Center.
13) At any point in your career, have you been able to say it’s 65 degrees in the city you call home? Oh, and that’s outside of a dome stadium.
14) Rob Lowe predicted on Twitter that you’d sign here.
15) Cap space. We’ve got the money and it’s guaranteed in the NBA.
16) We’ll support your second and third careers as a member of the Double Stuff Racing League and mustachioed pitchman.
17) The viral video potential between you and Steve Nash is infinite.
18) The closest you’ll get to a neck injury is if you take your eye of a Nash pass or sit in the front row when Dudley decides to play Superman.
Bonus: You and Steve Nash would be more famous for being orange than Snooki.
So Peyton, have your people call ours or email us at firstname.lastname@example.org. We think it could be a match made in heaven. Or just a completely irrational idea of one blogger stuck behind a desk.